these 2 russian guys walked past me and i got freaked out because i thought call of duty got real
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I know, but I was really high and I felt like a failure dragon because I could only blow smoke, no fire.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Until this weekend, a man hadn't made me orgasm since the night Obama was elected. Now THAT is change I can believe in.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
Do you have paint?
Paint? I wish
OMG WHAT ARE YOU DOING
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'd say tonight was pretty successful. I rode an iron horse naked and sweet talked myself out of an MIC while wearing a bra filled with four loko.
I guess I just don't understand how the two main issues with your ex involve a cock ring and a Christmas tree
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
The guy in the cage next to me is having phone sex. His girlfriend is in College Library. Why is my life ridiculous.
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