CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had sex with your cousin. That's what you get for throwing away a perfectly good microwave. Hopefully you learned from this experience.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
Obama's speech on in 9 mins. Me in the shower now. Naked. Make your choice.
I'm bringing the tv in with me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just...no. You make my soul cry. You are giving me karma-cancer. This torture of my majesticness can no longer be tolerated.
im dying and naked and this is what youre living with next year.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
They should incorporate dolphins into professional surfing
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
Its official. The summoning powers of my vagina are unmatched by anything in this world
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