She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
Yep. About to get on pornhub to spill some Christmas cheer
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
i wrote down the address for planned parenthood on the back of the receipt for the condom that broke
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
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