Best look from Detroit today: running across the street with your buttcheeks on display carrying a 40 oz. Or maybe being crazy-pregnant and screaming and slamming a pay phone. Toss up.
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
i can hardly tell the difference between falling asleep and passing out anymore
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
2010 has been the year of the Eskimo brother. Let's see how many igloos we can shack in next year
I'm not upset because i like you. I'm upset because I can't use you for the sex anymore.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
The problem with Wednesday evening drinking is that no gets to my level. It's like like a one man party. But it's a goood party.
Just getting in the shower.... found a "great job" sticker stuck to my boob.
So how was your night?
Dad was on the deck drinking straight bourbon. He stopped, puked on his feet, and then continued drinking and talking about compound interest.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Just looked for hours for the remote. Found it in my purse. I need to drink less.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
I broke another vibrator the other day. Abstinence is not for me.
Randomize
