youre lurking in front of me
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Liar. My heart is broken and my boobs are disappointed.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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