if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
If we keep treating our bodies like amusement parks we have another 10 years left at best.
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
I asked her if she wanted to make this a permanent exclusive thing instead of a fuck buddy thing, and she just looked at me like I'm an idiot.
That's because you are an idiot.
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Omg he's telling my parents stories about him doing jaagerbombs ... Lord help me
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
found a better reason to procrastinate than the usual sunday-don't-give-no-fucks. literally every one of my textbooks is soaked in captain. can't turn a page without gagging.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
We ended the night eating peanutbutter with our hands and smoking cigarettes in the house at 4am. Fucking Everclear, man.
Good, but still not as good as the guy I banged in the ball crawl
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