i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
i just fucked the bartender on my cruise to get free alcohol. have things gone too far?
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
I have a plus one for the Blackout Express, should I pen in your name?
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Flaming shots last night. Missing an eye brow. There a connection?
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
I remember saying to him "Fun fact! If you lie this way it's easier to deep throat!" I even judge me.
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I was gonna be Romantic and write your name in emoji eggplants but A's are hard
I can say with absolute certainty the only time we ever had a civil conversation was when we agreed we both liked pizza.
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
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