margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
Yea i'm supposed to have jury duty on monday. Hope they don't mind me still being drunk.
Na you can't get charged for public intoxication unless you're outside. I checked.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Lost my credit card. M has a bottle of blood in her pocket from a hobo.
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
I will expect an hourly check text to confirm you are alive and that you aren't dead in a ditch somewhere with a hobo dry humping your corpse
You yelled "NICE PAJAMAS" at a construction worker wearing a reflective jumpsuit while we rode past on a bike taxi
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
Well, my mom found the ball gag and whip. Looks like I'm never going home again.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
