Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
I like how you formally end text interactions, just turn your phone off or don't respond you pervert
Tell me I did not drive one hour for whiskey dick.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
phone sex would be way better if there was an app for that...
We had literally Just finished having sex when he handed me a plan B and said he lied about wearing a condom.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Oh thank Jesus fuck for my shitty infertile womb. Crisis averted
He wants me to hook up with his fiance while he watches. Text you later with how it goes.
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
You offered him a “Sorry I Blew Your Brother” Blowjob. How does that make it right?
I promised him it would be better than the one I gave his brother which is really nice of me since their actually only half brothers and his brother is cuter
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
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