Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
I can't watch pbs sober anymore
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
He's perfect in every other way. Is buying him a cockring too forward or just honest?
just made a presentation to 40 students and my professor about morals and ethical issues..still drunk. at 8am. I wish I could remember how it went.
Randomize
