So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
i just told my mom tuesday boozeday rhymes so that she can remember not to text or call me on wednesday mornings
youre going to kill that woman one of these days
he actually proposed, and i threw up on him...i guess 5 glasses of wine was a bad idea.
They're giving me a hotel, and this chick doesn't have a place to stay for the night... I swear this is how real life Porno starts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He told me I was a pleasure to arrest. That's the 2nd time I've heard that.
I found a picture of me as a little kid with nothing on except a towel covering one of my nipples and I'm glaring at the camera. Literally nothing has changed except I have boobs now
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
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