Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
He knew exactly who I'd slept with after just one look at my crotch. He's like the Sherlock Holmes of cocks.
He went THROUGH MY PHONE (he's 30 for God sake) then asked me why I was stringing along 12 guys... I told him he could have just asked me if I was banging other people and then saved himself from looking at pics of dicks bigger than his.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
I'm sending midget strippers dressed as bull fighters with mini bottles of 1800 to your house. Already made the call. Jer is going halves on it. Can't be stopped! Won't be stopped!
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Ugh I realized he only responds to my snaps when I’m eating a popsicle
Why are male brains so small?
Randomize
