Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
I know this is really fun but I don't wanna glow anymore
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO GET MY FUCKING CUPCAKES WHEN THE GROUNDSWORKER I HOOKED UP WITH IS LOITERING IN THE VENDING AREA
Done deal I'm dying it right at this moment. I'll need a red Speedo and a half shirt that is extremely tight. Like nipple tight.
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
The problem with having a roommate is that you are forced to answer the age old question "Are you okay?"
Hey man, when I left for work she was laying on the couch naked cuddling your keurig, can you clean that mess up?
I'm talking to this guy I met online about French toast. I am the oddest fucking combination of hungry and horny. Wtf brain.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
