and we just had intercourse last night so i'm exhausted, fucked up on adderol, emotionally broken and just pissed
just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
she's laying in my bed with an ice pack on her vagina. how do you think it went?
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Just had to stop myself from doing a bump on the Disney bus. The struggle is real.
oh so have I but I'd still suck a dick or 20 in the name of freedom.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
Im gonna start dry humping the manequins and see if i get fired.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
