what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
She pulled a cheeseburger out of her purse. I have missed her so much.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
Cracked my iPhone screen. Real bad. Girl from last night isn't ugly yet. Stop me if you still think she belongs under a bridge. You have 12 seconds.
It's cool, I power napped on the dryer while they were fucking in the bathroom so I'm good to go now. Where are you?
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
Says the girl who left her friends to go have phone sex in the bathroom at Michael's
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
location: under the moon. please find me. need ride home.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
Randomize
