dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Listening to Joy Division and applying for Walmart. You get to choose which one is more depressing.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
he got kicked out of the bar for falling asleep on the mechanical bull.. then freaked on us cause we wouldnt go to the strip club with him
My mascara kind of smells like tequila to me...Is this my body crying for help or asking for a shot?
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
You kept trying to make people drink "salsa-ritas." But all you did was dump tequila in a half full jar of salsa, and shove it in people's faces while shouting at them.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
I just sucked dick on a ferry
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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