that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
vagina is talking i cant
I just encountered the most annoying guy on the planet. I wanted to slap his milkshake out of his fat-boy hands while he was talking to me at the same time as slurping his liquid fat.
I love milkshakes.
Not the point.
Not quite sure what happened last night. I'll drive your dresser over to you later.....
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
Yeah well tell that to drunk me. She seems to have no standards or gender preference.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
winnie the pooh came out of nowhere and offered me a burrito...it was a fucking amazing burrito.
Please. I don't care how shitty his fake life story was. As horny as I was I just wanted the prettiest man possible in case I accidentally got pregnant. He had blue eyes.
We finally have the house to ourselves and your out playing Lance Fucking Armstrong
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
He rubbed aloe on my sunburn while I blew him... could he be anymore perfect?
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
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