Had sex with him. My tampon is now in my brain. May need surgery.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
level of my singleness - just ate a whole pizza topless in bed.
We talked him into tasing himself.
Hungover and I may throw up in my therapist's office. Maybe he is right about my drinking
There is nothing quite so awkward as watching topless bullriding with your mother next to you..
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
sometimes it's just necessary to be your own gyno when you're too afraid to tell your mom about your real life
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
My mom just walked in on me naked taking a shit and packing a bowl...the only comment she makes is, she wants her Tupperware back after my pot's out of it. Best mom ever.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
I got a gay guy to motorboat me. These tits could change the world, I'm telling you.
Puked up breakfast after doing my first minze shot in a while, but that shot was to Trump losing the election, so it's all good.
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