No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
Or I die of a heart attack, which is the more likely/less fun scenario.
Maybe someone other than the mad hatter should have gone with him to the ER
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
to instagram or to not instagram the picture i took of when i shit in the urinal
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
I'm debating a nap but also debating breaking into the liquor cabinet
I promise that I won't shotgun beers with your boyfriend this time, Scouts Honor.
Can you get an STD by sharing underwear? Walk of shamed home and realized I was wearing someone else’s panties
No one knows. This doesn’t happen to normal people.
Randomize
