just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
You should ask if we are margaritasing tomorrow. and yes i did just turn that into a verb
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Well see how he likes it when I randomly start crying and saying my dads name during sex I WILL RUIN ALL HIS FUTURE BONERS
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
G&T. Gin and tonic. GIN AND TONIC. GIN AND TONIC AND FUCKING LIME
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