this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Just dunked an oreo in a white russian. Trying to think of a better experience in my life and failing.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
I want a burrito.
Truly, you are the voice of a generation.
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
Worst drunk idea ever... Me "Cops are looking for two guys, one in a grey shirt one in a blue shirt" jelly "lets take out shirts off they'll never find us" of course I thought it was brilliant
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
So uh... Did you mail me business cards that describe my profession as "tortured soul"?
I screenshoted his dick pic the other day because it literally looked like a brontosaurus. Like that really tall dinosaur that eats grass. Like I wanna draw a face on it.
rowboat hit a rock. taking on water. going down fast. bring cheerios.
aye aye capn
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