He bought me ice cream and then I gave him a bj
I think that's fair trade off
I just finished washing your number off of my chest. I'm Bryan by the way.
i realized our last day of finals is on cinco de mayo....it's god's way of saying drink ridiculous amounts of tequila and wear sombreros
Just think about it this way, every time you work Sunday, it's another $75 and that equals another hooker when we go to Amsterdam.
we have 69 mutual friends...i have to add her
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
i'm in that phase where i'll swallow anything except food
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I swear she lies about being allergic to gluten so she'll get all the jack and not have to drink shitty beer like the rest of us
I need a thor helmet and I need to find my heavy duty drinking mug
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
I think she lost me at about the point where the words “Ice Cream Enema” were spoken.
Randomize
