all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
The National Anthem was on so I had to have a beer
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
You told the entire McDonalds staff that I was a whore and that you didn't want your french fries cooked.
Did you guys seriously let me trade my id for a kebab last night??
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
We should probably go now, otherwise the whores will descend.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
He showed up at my apartment drunk with a telescope wanting me to look at the "blown up star" in -24 degree weather, claiming "it's in the name if science"
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Randomize
