if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
Yeah he doesn't get it. We had to change the subject to Keanu reeves before someone got hurt.
And by defning the relationship I mean telling him I'm gonna fuck other people but its cool If he does the same.
There was a pirates of the caribbean marathon on. No matter how much you like rum, it is NOT possible to outdrink the pirates. They always win.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
You know you come from good stock when you can have a family discussion about excuses to scam pain pills from the doctors
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
You know you're gay when you have to have your coworkers explain to you why your bracket is terrible
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
It's only 10am and I doubt my day could get much worse. During my 9am meeting I had to sit between my boss who I fucked for my promotion and the guy he walked in on me fucking on the copier
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
Just got invited to a tree party by some random chicks. They're literally just sitting up in a tree with a handle of rum and a box of goldfish crackers and yelled at me as I was walking by...
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