Oh and fyi, I've been drinking and about to do free weights. I'll late you know how this goes.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
I ended up driving home on my birthday, he opened the door to puke on the highway, and animal balloons were flying out of the car the entire time. The people behind us got a show.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
He's way too stoned. I took him to el bra and he's laying on the table, not sure what to do with him
I just had sex on my divorce papers. I've never felt so poetic.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
Just made a secret hand shake with my sisters cat. Boredom at its finest.
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