Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i feel this outfit says i'm better than you, but i might give you a handjob behind a building
you started putting condoms on anything with a point, then you were yelling at the lamp for using your last condom...
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
My neck kind of hurts. I think from sleeping on the concrete.
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I don't need my coworkers thinking I'm a nutcase.
You gift wrapped a tampon.
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
My butt remains clenched, sir.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Best news I’ve heard all day. Cookies and dick. What more could a girl ask for?
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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