It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
My sheets look like a crime scene.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
Im about to shotgun a beer using my mother's knitting needles. home sweet home.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
u kept pointing at random guys and making quacking or mooing sounds.
I just saw a fat chick ask the bartender to top her corona off with grenandine cuz she has a "sweet tooth" no that's diabetes fatty
We're all getting matching jack daniels tattoos. We're gonna be an alcoholic gang of awesome.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
That's the last time I send a mass text invitation to smoke a blunt
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
Paycheck hits in 37 minutes and I literally just emptied my handle of Tito's. If that isn't budgeting like a fucking adult, I don't know what is.
i feel like doing his laundry was not included in the job description when we became fuck buddies.
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
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