I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
Just wana tell you im wearing assless jorts tonight. Ive been waiting my whole life for this.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
St Patricks day needs to be raged like youve never raged before. Like youre in the desert and it starts raining beer. Like it's the day the announced the 21st amendment (which is the one that ended prohibition)
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
Interesting. All i can really say is humanoid shaped doritos bags melting very slowly
I made you bacon and gave you a blow job. I'd say you had a pretty great day.
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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