yea pretty sure we followed the trail of your spaghetti-o vomit to find the car
It's like you don't even want to get drunk with me everyday, anymore.
I found a map from his room to his bathroom this morning in my purse. Apparently I was too fucked up to get there without one.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I vaguely remember a pregnant lady reaching for my penis. When was I in an elevator?
You know what a wolf looks like when it kills a small animal? How it shakes it around in it's mouth? I did that to a bag of Taco Bell last night
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
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