I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
I've officially decided that whoever created hate sex should be on my christmas card list.
There appears to be a lake on my nightstand. As usual, I should not be considered a suspect. Together, we will find out who did this.
New life rule, no banging opera singers. I might be a little deaf now
Well, I had a dudes gf walk in on us the next morning but nothing during...She shook my hand after I got dressed and said "nice to meet you with your clothes on" best moment of my life.
A lot of things don't look good... It doesn't look good for a lifeguard to be smoking a cig and drinking from a conspicuous cup... But hey I'm doin it
I drew a giraffe.. But she did say that bumped that test up from a 39 to a 40. It's the little things.
Just had a flashback to Friday. Definitely had my hands in someone's bra. Definitely wasn't mine.
Below this exterior of ice is a layer of cum. Followed by a pool of gin. More cum. Then, finally a heart.
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
Randomize
