I feel like death. And death is wearing a fleece blanket as a dress. And is seriously contemplating wearing this to go get something to eat.
And when I look at him, I just want him to say "I love you" in between deep thrusts and hard grunts.
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her vagina smelled like bad decisions
I just got hit on by my highschool french teacher. I need to stop going to this bar.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
I was sat at the table waiting with a glass of wine reading my book and the hotel staff gave me a goldfish in a bowl and said 'heres your date for the night' !
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
I can't feel the bottom half of my face but i feel like our sex would be amazing
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
Randomize