im so hungover...we just watched The Perfect Storm and i got seasick
I just found out why they dont make table-dance tables out of glass.
That's it, I refuse to live in a world where sparkly vampires beat Batman at anything.
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I've hooked up with six guys in my ethics class next semester...I feel like I've failed already
he might be the rich husband I pretend to love for the rest of my life!!!!
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
why is there glitter IN my vagina????
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
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