We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
She left a blanket, pillow, a glass of water, and two advils in the bathroom for me. It's like she knew. Best room mate ever.
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
Wouldn't life be so much easier if you could just walk up to attractive men and say, "Let me bear your children" and it wouldn't be creepy?
Or possibly end in a restraining order?
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
He fell asleep during FOREPLAY. Sober!!!
Im outta here as soon as my phone charges wtf
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
Randomize
