So you know how craigslist used to have an "erotica" section? And how after you click on a link it changes a darker color? And how Dad stays up really late most nights?
Oh god... well at least he's gettin some. Mom's a prude.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
The night was doomed the minute I started taking shots with an apple as a chaser.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'm sorry for throwing the cheese everywhere, but it wasn't my fault. No one was enforcing disipline so not really my fault for not behaving
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
I just remember being in the bathroom alone cussing out the bunny
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Hey, you can't rush the perfect creeper shot. I need buffer time to hone my skills.
Also I'm so used to having sex with river guides that when he pulled out a condom I was actually surprised
Just a suggestion, don't apricot scrub your vagina.
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
I just found your "it's drinking time" note in my chem notes. Why did this never happen??
I was waiting for you to find it...I'll be over in 5
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