so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
about to play the homeward bound drinking game. alone. what are you doing tonight?
watchout when you come home, dougs at the top of the stairs naked eating doritos
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am self-sufficient. I puked in a wine glass and emptied it in the trash. Points for style and neatness
Seriously. All i can say is im covered in mud, my jaw hurts, i cannot straighten my arm, egg is everywhere, and there is a dead squirrel.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Have you ever seen death before? Bc it's me right now in yesterday's clothes.
I'm wearing jeans from 7th grade and drinking a fucking macchiato. This better be a good day.
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
the raccoons are back...
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