Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
after you took your Demerol you started flying around and talking like the robot ship on the movie Stealth. then you licked my iPhone and declared the mission a success.
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
You tried to get the Waffle House waitress to put a candle in your cheesy hash browns.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
I just masterbated to the home shopping channel...what have I become...
I said "one day" and that day is not today
Was it your intent last night to burn the house down? With a waffle..
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