i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
so I told him I hadn't been laid since Bush was president. Right after he cums, he says "Welcome to the Obama Administration".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Learned my lesson. Pink pantydroppers out of a beer bong=deceiving
So you drank bourbon with cough syrup?
I still had a cough. It only makes sense
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
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