Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
You both must have been completely wasted because every once in a while we would hear you both stop and start singing to each other. At one point it was taylor swift.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
And on the first day of my adult job, I matched with one of my co workers on tinder...
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
Randomize
