SEEEEXXX PLEASE
why is it that everyone in pennsylvannia gets fucking prego??
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
Went biking. Saw homeless guy beating in the park. Thought of you <3
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
I full on slapped a girl with pizza. Like in the face with sauce splattered everywhere and grease with a hard slap to the face.
The camera shows a viking with a white mask, a creepy green guy, a gorilla, and a pumpkin throwing eggs and laundry detergent in his yard
OHHH and there was a Batman too.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Fuck you come back. The old guy next to me is complementing me on my great choice of ring fingers,
She pulled up to the bar in a limo, wasted, and alone. Gets out, shrugs and slurs "I couldn't find a cab" and proceeds to take a shot.
I'm in love.
Stop acting like the Lucky Charms you're feeding people is actually ecstasy.
Just saw my ex AGAIN. The constellation of gays must be at some sort of weird point with Mercury.
I don't know when he had the time to do it but he dug a hole in our basement like the shawshank redemption
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
I deserve a medal for being woke up at 6am on my day off by your mother asking where your brother is
Randomize
