Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
I hope the prosecutor is a dude cause my lawyer is hot.
my debit card account is gonna say movie, movie, ice cream, movie, cheese fries, get a fucking life, movie
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
While we were making out, he kept yelling at me for not coming to his wedding last month.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now Heβs Upset Because People Told His Mom
Things you Cant unsee: When your smartphone syncs to your dads laptop and downloads photos...including his porn stash.
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
You can't leave me alone in times of distress because I will fuck things ππ
He's a security blanket. A security blanket who FUCKS.
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