she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
So my teacher figured out I made a drinking game out of her lecture. Once my drink was gone she let us out. Happy St. Patricks day class. Your welcome
I went out in the middle of the night to smoke my weed.. Didn't realize my dad was sitting on the patio doing the exact same thing..
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
I'll always be here to give you immoral support.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
So if you wanna come get your pants you can. But you have to come in your boxers. Rules are rules!
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
Randomize
