I heard we made out
We were chasing that deer in the quad and next thing I remember I woke up in my RAs bed. I'm probably in trouble.
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
This is the LAST time i'm accepting the excuse "tequila made me do it". Even tequila thinks buying all of nickelback's itunes singles is fucking retarded
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
you were just eating all his cookies and kept mumbling "them crumblies" when the crumbs got on your shirt.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
You're at a grade school volley ball game with a yeti of tequila. You've passed extra
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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