Someone's got a whale tail
A thong is hangin out?
No, a fatty following them
I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
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Even my Mr Clean Magic Eraser can't make last night disappear.
Just fucked a hooker at a motel in New Jersey. Two states down, 48 to go.
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
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I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
you can't tell me not to come to work cause roads are bad then ask me an hour later to come in and expect me to be sober
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
He caught a Pokemon on my head while I sucked him off. I think I need to marry him.