I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
My life has only gotten better since they built a playground behind the bar
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
The paramedics were not my fault this time.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
would you eat cereal with weed in it
who is this???
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
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