I was high as a kite when I got pulled over by a cop and he asked me for my ID and if I had been smoking weed, I said no and gave him my debit card.
are you so shy because you have an std?
apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
During the middle of giving him head, he flashes his phone and says "I like to watch."
I just had to stop two people giving each other hand jobs in the pool. That was not something I was taught in lifeguard training
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
We were having sex and my nose just started pouring blood. He reached down to the floor, grabbed a sock and held it to my nose. He just kept pounding away like nothing was happening.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
we just got sex advice from a midget. You better fucking get here.
Randomize