Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
I just accepted my offer to work as a camp counselor over the phone between shots of Fireball. This is going well for me so far.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
Stupid adulating
Yeah it sucks, but at least I can buy wine so it all comes out in the wash
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Your vagina must be outstanding or have a secret entrance to Narnia if someone is will to fly from Texas for one night of it.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
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