come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Redeem this text for a blowjob
she looked me in the eyes and called me a poet because i was singing lady gaga, then she fell over...
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
well.. I tried flushing my sandals down the toilet
i have a queen bed, a cherrywood bed frame, and gold sheets. how are you saying no to me right now?
The word cocktail makes me want to rip my liver out and nail it to a cross.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
who knew rolling through the dorm on a scooter in footie pajamas would attract so many guys. he said i'm his soulmate.
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