Sorry I couldn't answer your call, I'm expecting a call from Chris Hansen.
I'm guessing you didn't end up going to the bar last night.
Nope. Ended up at what I believe was a slumber party down the street.
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
I don't always steal things but when i do it is a six foot five dos equis guy
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
I like to imagine god has to get plastered to deal with the fact that he made you and me
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
This is my last chance to be the first person to fall off this roof.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Showed up to pick her up in my boxers. Lets just say im 2 for 2 with this new idea
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