Our Neighbors are trying to steal our ducks!
I may have told her we're dating for a handjob, Fake tits are overrated.
They say you shouldnt they say its no good for the environment in your vagina
I just peed next to my dog in the yard. Unparalleled forms of bonding going on over here.
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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