I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
You're so easy to please, it's adorable. Like an alcoholic puppy.
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Your drinking has interfered with your drinking. I bet you could get a scholarship to a rehab. Thats pro-level
She has a lazy eye!
My other option is a hardwood floor
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
Well, I'm getting my ex-boyfriend to get me a z pack to cure the chlamydia I got from my married fuck buddy so that I can fuck one of my students.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
We did a lot of coke and Bedazzled the couch. It seemed like a good idea at the time.
Why the HOLY HELL is my dog on my roof??? Sam?? Why is the dog wearing my pants
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
So who has the penis shaped party tray? You or your mom?
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