I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
My hand turned me down
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
On my list on ridiculous morning after bus rides home, still sopping wet and carrying a giant straw hat is definitely top five
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Helped an old lady on crutches throw away her mcdonalds, carried her stuff to the car and helped her get in...most productive cinco de mayo hands down
Maybe it's cuz you slapped him with a pancake last night
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
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She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
at one point, you reached into your purse, pulled out a tampon, and proceeded to rub it on your lips like chapstick... that drunk
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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