just took a pee in my own yard...decided i had to poo..only got a dingle berry....wiped it away with my finger..help me...my mom AND dad are home.
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
You totally drew a penis wizard on my closet that says "I travel for cock rock"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just violated the laws of fuck-buddyship and talked to him about my personal life. I don't like it.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
Seeing your boyfriend, side piece, and great white buffalo, all in one night? Its a sign right?
Proceed with caution.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
If you magically turned into a tall white gay guy, ignore this message. If not, then I'm sure someone has your fb password.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize