I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
I think I'd do Clint Eastwood.
...kinda gettin a major gay vibe from you right now.
That was a text you sent me last night.
I think call of duty has replaced my masturbating. And I'm alright with that.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
The only explanation I can think of is that he still likes me. Which gives me an enormous amount of power over him and makes me laugh with malicious intent.
Also one of my neighbors is blasting "pumped up kicks" and possibly butchering some chickens
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I had a dream about that dude. It was the first time I had a dream about him since the tryst.
The tryst?
The hookup. I like using sophisticated words for my foolish decisions. Makes me retain some dignity.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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