u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
It was huge And he was twirling it around. Im telling you, beautiful wonderpenis
She had one drink in her cleavage and another in her hand. She kept rotating between the two by leaning backward and then sipping the one in her hand.
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
Everything smells like blood and olive oil.
i miss freshman lecture halls much harder to take shots in a class of 20
We're over by the bouncy castles. I'm the one wearing a baby. Bring Twizzlers.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
Who put my cat in the fridge?
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
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