I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I just got kidnapped by the rugby team for a scavenger hunt. I'm "the girl you had sex with last night"
dont worry it didnt get any better. she locked herself in his room and was screaming at the top of her lungs "IM GUNA PEE ON YOUR BED"
What shirt can I wear out that says 'I may have a broken arm, but it's not the one I give handjobs with'?
Like some sort of pot growing robin hood.
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Is it okay to thank someone for the orgasms they gave you, even though they weren't with you?
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
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