That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
Dude my doctor just legit got down on her knees and loudly begged me to do my pap smear
When's the best time to point out that all of my orgasms this year have been self-administered? Valentine's day?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
I know right. I don't even want to have sex today. I did anyway but that's besides the point.
Humming the Indiana Jones theme song as my hand makes its way to his dick.
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
i woke up on the third floor, naked in a closet.
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