It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
He was going down on me as I discovered a spaghetti-O on my boob. Its been a while since I faked it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
proof that my night is going well: I can still open doors
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
We didn't mean to put a petting zoo in the elevator.
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like a human soul vacuum cleaner.
I told my coworker that I'd get him some edibles because he wants to rekindle his marriage. I'd better get some good karma out of this.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
I’d say they were worth it. He screamed “your tits are fanfuckingtastic!”while he was cumming
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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