so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
There is now a Twilight themed dildo. What do YOU want for christmas??
tell me how a rose bowl party involves waking up to find a raccoon in my kitchen cabinet eating my oreos the next morning?
So last night ended up making out with a girl going to jail on sunday...she wrote down her address so I can make conjugal visits...
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
But Alex is drunk in Philly and I told him to come see me so that's "first-love,-drunk,-high,-and-it's-a-snow-day-hook-up-with-an-ex" points. 69
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
There are condoms rolled onto each bunny ear of the ears I was wearing last night
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
not being a booty call is very strange. Who knew there was so much time for activities at night!
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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